5 days ago6 min read

Discover Defy by Sunita Sah: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes

How Dr. Sunita Sah’s Insights on Defiance and Integrity Can Help You Challenge Authority and Embrace Your True Values

Name: Dr. Sunita Sah

Family info: Married. One son, Samuel - age 17

Professional Background & Expertise: Physician turned Organizational Psychologist, Professor, Keynote Speaker, and Author

What is the name of your book? Defy: The Power of No in a World that Demands Yes

How did you get started writing your book?

As a child, I believed what adults taught me: that being obedient was “good,” that authority figures were to be trusted, and that I should do as I was told and not make a fuss. But in school, I saw firsthand the way teachers could abuse their authority, physically assaulting “bad” students in the name of discipline or order. Later, as a college student, I read Stanley Milgram’s landmark study of obedience— in which many subjects complied with orders to administer what they believed were life-threatening electric shocks to another person. And I began to question what it meant to be “good,” and whether obedience really was something we should always strive for and celebrate.

I’ve now spent decades conducting studies on advice, influence, and authority and I’ve realized just how compliant we are and how we have misunderstood what it means to defy.

Throughout my life, the pressure to be “good” and obedient has often conflicted with my need to act in accordance with the values I hold most dear. What I wanted, I realized, was to write a book that addressed that tension I felt. It would be the book I wished I’d had growing up: a handbook for defiance, a step-by-step strategy for learning how to defy when it matters most.

Describe your book for us:

Defy: The Power of No in a World that Demands Yes redefines what it means to resist, challenging the assumption that defiance must always be loud or combative. It presents defiance as a proactive, values-driven force—something quiet yet powerful. Drawing from behavioral science and my own research, the book explores how we can align our personal values to create broader societal impact. It’s a guide for anyone navigating the tension between being true to themselves and the pressure to conform. Through stories, strategies, and insights, it empowers readers to challenge authority, stand firm in their principles, and create meaningful change, whether in their personal lives, workplaces, or communities.

What are some of your favorite quotes from your book?

“Defiance is acting in accordance with your true values when there is pressure to do otherwise.”

“Defiance is not just saying no to something that is not right. It’s saying yes to the world you want to create.”

Defy by Sunita Sah — Defy by Dr. Sunita Sah

What did you learn in your journey of writing the book?

Writing Defy taught me that the act of defiance is not about rebelling for the sake of rebellion; it’s about choosing integrity over compliance, even when it’s difficult or uncomfortable. Through reflecting on my own experiences and the stories I share in the book, I learned how deeply societal conditioning can shape our choices, often without us realizing it.

The process also reinforced the importance of values-based decision-making—not just for individuals but for organizations and communities. Defiance, when guided by ethical principles, has the potential to transform not only our own lives but also the systems we’re part of. Finally, writing this book deepened my understanding of how vital it is to give ourselves and others permission to question, challenge, and trust that small acts of defiance can lead to profound change.

How would you describe your work?

My work bridges the worlds of behavioral science, organizational psychology, and ethics. I study how advice, influence, and authority shape our decisions and behaviors, often in ways we don’t fully realize. Through my research, writing, and advocacy, I aim to uncover the hidden forces that keep people compliant and help them reclaim their voices to act in alignment with their values. Whether it’s through examining conflicts of interest, professionalism, or the psychological barriers to defiance, my goal is to empower individuals and organizations to create more ethical, equitable outcomes.

Before working on this, what was your career?

Before writing Defy, I trained and worked as a physician in the UK's National Health Service, where I witnessed firsthand the complexities of decision-making in high-stakes environments. Later, I worked as a management consultant for the pharmaceutical industry and I became fascinated by how the medical profession and industry interact with each other. I wanted to research that influence in more detail and so I transitioned into academia as an organizational psychologist and researcher. My experiences in healthcare sparked a deep curiosity about how authority and influence impact behavior, particularly in professions where the stakes are high, like medicine. This career journey provided me with a unique perspective on the interplay between individual choices and systemic forces, which now informs both my writing and research.

What do you love most about what you do?

What I love most is seeing the moment of realization in others—the “aha” when they recognize they have the power to question, challenge, and make decisions that align with their values. Whether it’s through my research, teaching, or writing, I find immense fulfillment in helping people uncover hidden influences on their behavior and empowering them to act with integrity and confidence.

I also love the interdisciplinary nature of my work. It allows me to weave together insights from psychology, medicine, ethics, and real-world experiences, creating solutions that are both practical and transformative. Knowing that my work can spark meaningful change, whether in an individual’s life or within larger organizations, is incredibly rewarding. It’s a privilege to contribute to conversations that inspire people to defy expectations, stand up for what they believe, and make a positive impact in their own unique way.

If this is a second “career” for you, do you have advice regarding reinventing yourself?

This is actually my third career. I started in medicine, following the expectations of family, teachers, and the community, then transitioned into management consulting, even being offered a job as an actuary at one point, before I found myself in academia and now a professor at Cornell University. Each step taught me valuable lessons, but it was only by combining what I love, what I’m good at, and where I could make the greatest impact that I truly found my path.

Reinventing yourself is not about discarding your past or starting over—it’s about carrying forward the skills, experiences, and values you’ve accumulated along the way, and finding new ways to use them. Every experience I’ve had—whether diagnosing patients, solving complex business problems, or researching human behavior—helped me refine my understanding of what I want to contribute to the world. My advice is to focus on the intersection of passion, talent, and impact. Ask yourself: What excites me? What am I naturally skilled at? How can I make a difference?

It’s also crucial to let go of the fear of others’ expectations. Reinvention is deeply personal. Stay curious, experiment, and trust that the skills and insights you’ve gained so far are stepping stones, not roadblocks, to a fulfilling and meaningful career.

Other fun details about you: favorite books, Netflix, fun facts:

Favorite Books: While I absorb a lot of non-fiction in my work, I truly enjoy reading fiction as a way to escape, relax, and connect with different perspectives. Growing up, I loved Animal Farm for its clever portrayal and timeless message. More recently, I’ve enjoyed Lessons in Chemistry—a brilliantly written, funny, and empowering story, all rolled into one novel.

Netflix Favorites:

I’m drawn to British murder mysteries, with their intricate plots and moody and occasional touches of dry humor that add a delightful twist.

Fun Facts:

I never say no to a warm cup of Earl Grey tea—it’s my perfect companion for both work and relaxation.
Dancing to 80s music is my favorite way to unwind and let loose—it’s pure nostalgia and energy rolled into one.
You’ll often find me at Zumba at the Y!!! Love those classes and energetic instructors.

You can find and pre-order Sunita's book at sunitasah.com/defy or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other outlets here.

Connect with her on Instagram: @drsunitasah; LinkedIn: @drsunitasah; and Facebook: @sunitasahuk

Join Sunita at the Rye Free Reading Room on January 16th

Sunita will be giving a Read in Rye event on Defy at the beautiful Rye Reading Room just two days after the book launches. Sunita will introduce Defy, share its empowering message, and answer questions. You can book a seat here to join her. It’s free to attend but filling up fast—and invite your friends, family, and colleagues along for an inspiring evening!

📅 Date & Time: January 16, 2025, at 7:00 PM

📍 Location: 1061 Boston Post Rd, Rye, NY 10580

🔗 Register Here